144th Passage

Lydia, singing a song: I love my beautiful princess, *looks up at me* not you, only this cup. 
There is a princess on a water bottle. She loves that beautiful princess, not her mother. Lol.

Speaking of Allison, Lydia said"I love her, she is so cute! Can we keep her for the whole day?"

While doing school, Morgan: I think this is the best little i I've ever made!

Of all the letters to be proud about ones penmanship...

Time for almost a whole year of funny kids quotes. 

From Sept 2014

Me: okay Lydia, what comes before 17?
Lydia: purple leaf.

This year I had William and Morgan start a journal. They write in it daily as part of school. This is what Morgan wrote today. 
"Lydia: she likes to sing. She is like a cracker throwing Pokemon. She is the weirdest person I know."

Speaking of Halloween, 
Lydia: I'm gonna be a princess! . . . Or I'm going to be a space robot.

Lydia: look, a dog feather. Can I have it?
Me: no it's yucky. I don't know what it's from. 
Lydia: It's from a dog.

Lydia: can I smell this? (Referring to David's pomade.)
Me: sure
Lydia: this smells like a dog, and that's gross!

Lydia: look a police car.
It was in a school parking lot. 
Me: yep. 
Lydia: maybe he took a kid. I think so maybe he was naughty and his mom said "do you wanna go to the police?" And he said "yeah!" And the police took him. I would not want to go to the police!

Owen: the earth is 115 years old. 
Me: actually, it's closer to 6000 years old. 
Owen: what? But it told me the earth was 115 years old!
Me: who told you? 
Owen: my brain. I closed my eyes and my brain said, "the earth is 115 years old".

Oct 2014

Me: name a scary animal. 
Morgan: lion
William: tiger
Owen: bear
Me: yeah, give me another one. 
William: a deer!

Lydia: I hope I don't spill it on your dress. 
Owen: I don't have a dress. 
Lydia: I know, I thought you were a girl.

As I'm stirring a bowl of batter, 
Lydia: is that doughnuts or not?
Me: not. 
Lydia: oh, is it hash browns?
Me: no....
Lydia: what is it?
Me: brownies.

Lydia: can I play on the iPad?
Me: no, you can do yoga with me. 
Lydia: no, I'm not going to listen to yogurt!

Mother may I in real life is super annoying.

Me: you can all watch a movie.
Morgan, William, and Lydia start watching a movie.
Owen: mommy, can I watch the movie?

Or
Me: Owen, why don't you eat your sandwich while I get your spelling words ready?
Owen: can I eat my sandwich?

Every. Day.

We have a head massager thing that Owen hates. We were playing with it with the kids and Owen was afraid I would massage his head, so he ran away from me giggling. Then his giggling stopped and he scowled at me and in a whiney voice said, "why did you make me scratch my back?!" He saw my look of amusement and incredulity and continued, "it was your fault!" Lol. Hopefully we can teach him to take responsibility for his own actions before he enters adulthood.

Morgan: I don't know anyone in our family that does not have a wrist. 
Lydia: what?! You know William and Owen!

Nov. 2014

Owen: I wish I had an animal that evolved. Like a dinosaur.

Lydia: mommy, but, I don't know if we're going to die. Because I hate dying! And we are gonna die at the Jesus place. Do we have to drive there?

No idea what she is talking about.

Dec. 2014

Owen: get your coat on, pickle head!
Morgan: I don't want my coat. 
Lydia: well, well, well, then you'll turn to ice!

Morgan: I wonder if anyone has taste buds on their toes.

Lydia: mommy I think so I don't know how to get married. 
Me: get married?
Lydia: yeah, I think so I don't know how to get married to my daddy when I grow up. 
Me: you aren't supposed to marry your daddy. You can't. 
Lydia: what?!? You did!

Jan. 2015

Lydia is telling us how she is going to have 5 kids: 6 girls and 7 boys, and there will be a mean boy, but his name won't be Owen. The other boy will protect the girls from the mean boy named a different name than Owen.

Owen: I can still make noise when I talk with my brain. 
*owen closes his mouth and starts making noise*
But it's kind of hard to hear what I say.

Owen: how do you put this on? There's not a way!
Me: there's always a way. 
Owen. Nuh-uh. There's not a way to kill a towel.

I just went into the girls room to take care of a screaming Alli. Lydia still slept, but while I was in there she fell out of her bed.
Me: are you okay?
Lydia: mommy, you know what?
Me:what?
Lydia: actually....

Then she got in bed and got comfortable and looked at me and smiled, but said no more.

William: do babies only see in black and white? 
Me: no, they see color. 
William: oh. It's just that I thought they were like dogs. 
Me: nope, they're people...

Morgan told me he isn't feeling well this morning. 
Morgan: I always know when I'm sick because my chest feels cold and blue. 
Me: how does something feel blue?
Morgan: no, COLD and blue.

Lydia: I like babies. 
Me: yeah, me too. 
Lydia: you know what? When I have babies I will give one to you. 
Me: how come?
Lydia: because maybe some boys will like it.

Lydia wanted a bandaid. 
Lydia: I think so my owieis coming out...
Me: no, you don't need a bandaid. Your belly button isn't an owie. 
Lydia: well I'm going to get one anyway! (Said with attitude). 
Me: no, Lydia, do you want to be a good girl or a naughty girl?
Lydia: well, I don't care.

Morgan was running and dancing around, ducking and side stepping through the parking lot in the rain. 
Morgan: I'm good at dodging the rain! Even though I can't see it.

Feb. 2015

Lydia was singing a song she was making up. 
Lydia: i like Alli, but sometimes her don't like me...
Me: why do you suppose that would be?
Lydia: it's just a song. It's not bad, it's a song.

Morgan: mommy, daddy, I wanna sing you a song I made up. There's some parts you probably won't like, but I don't swear or anything, so just don't be affected by it or anything.

Then he sang us a song that started with a poem by shel Silverstein and ended with him listing everyone in the entire family and using a word to describe them. For example "William is wacky" "Allison is acty" "Caseyshould be Stacey" "Christine is sinstine" ( which means sincere, he explained.) and on and on forever.

William: why do they call butts "butts"?
Morgan: to make kids laugh. 
William: if they were called "hand", kids would still laugh. 
Morgan: or if they called it "slacken"...
Both boys erupt in laughter.

Morgan: did you know that one time my senses got confused and instead hearing music I saw music? They can do that, you know.

Lydia: *gasp* I think I hear knocking! Morgan is that you? 
She pauses and listens. 
Lydia: I think it's an alien! *whimper* I don't like this house; it looks like a haunted house!

I was giving Morgan his spelling words. 
Me: hippopotamus
Morgan: h-i-pp...
Him and his brothers crack up. But he eventually finished and he spelled it right in his first try!

William is doing a little report about foxes for school. He just looked up from his reading and said, "when is the humans mating season?"

Lydia got a big ol' bloody nose yesterday, and then another one just now. 
Owen: Lydia's nose is turning into a blood monster. 
Lydia: I'M NOT A BLOOD MONSTER!!
Owen: no, your nose. 
Lydia: NO I'M NOT!

Lydia was complaining about her tummy hurting. She said "I think I need bubble gum in my tummy." And then later, "when someone's tummy hurts you're supposed to say 'you have to go poop.'"

I was straightening my hair for a date with my husband. Lydia came in and saw the layer I had clipped to the top of my head so I could straighten the layers on the bottom. 
Lydia: oh, your hair is beautiful!
Me: oh, I'm not going to leave it like this...
Lydia: yeah, because someone might laugh at you!
She was in and out if the bathroom. She came back on when my hair was all down and straight. 
Lydia: awww! Your hair isn't beautiful anymore!
At least no one will laugh at me?

Did you know that if you get an apple, light the stem on fire, then open your chest and put the apple in your chest and close your chest, you can then see in the dark? Owen told me so.

March 2015

Owen is learning about the plant cycle. He looked up from his book and said, "I didn't know fruits and vegetables were made from fabric." 
Hmm, I think you're missing something there, buddy.

Me: Owen, why would you throw your baby sister?!?
Owen, with a big smile: I thought she was a cat. 
Me: *stare at Owen with incredulity and disgust at his answer*
Owen: what? I forget!!

Lydia: mommy, guess what?
Me: what?
Lydia: I love you. 
Me: I love you, too. 
Lydia: it's a joke!

April 2015

I was brushing Lydia's hair:
Lydia: ow!
Me: there was a really big knot in your hair. 
Lydia: that's because I ate a lot of food.

Lydia: mommy, did you know that Lydia starts with balydia? And Alli starts with loudia, and you, mommy, you start with baneladie. 
Then she cracked up.

David: Yes, I realize I'm standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but my garments and a belt, eating yogurt out of the lid of a butter dish, but that's exactly what I want to be doing right now and I won't be judged by you!

Lydia: Stop!! Mommy, William is erasing me!

Allison has discovered the floor vents. One of her favorite activities is to pull up one in the living room and throw shoes and toys into it. Today while removing said items, this conversation happened:
Owen: she put a corn tortilla down here. 
Lydia: no, that was me. 
Me: you put a tortilla in the vent? Why?!
Lydia: to feed the spiders.

May 2015

Morgan: if five was a letter I think it would actually be M. For some reason I think that. Sometimes I actually read numbers.

Me: you're supposed to stay in the cul-de-sac. 
Lydia: I don't like the cold-e-sac, I only like the warm-e-sac, because the cold-e-sac is cold!

William: Morgan, we might be sitting ducks!
Morgan: what do you mean?
William: I mean this might be gross.

Huh. Not sure he quite gets the expression...

Lydia is singing a song and making it up as she goes. 
"No one will ever think I'm a bad guuuuuuy. And this is a two year old shoooooe. Because it says 5 but it's actually for a two year old giiiiiiirl."

July 2015

Owen: I was only doing one penny of my strength.

Lydia: that's boring! Mommy, Morgan was blinking a lot of times and it was boring!

Me: I wish I could be skinny. 
Lydia: what? I don't want you to be skinny! If you are skinny than you are a cat!

Owen: I can't wait until I kill a gorilla.

Aug. 2015

Owen: I'm not mean; I've never even murdered anyone.